They told me at the blood bank that this might happen. This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to. I was working smarter – not harder. Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout. I wasn’t sleeping! I was.

You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue as to when it happened. Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,.

You didn’t find out that nothing happened for a week because you were holed up in your cellar. You don’t have to go to the grocery store for a year. You invited the local football team over to eat twice this week, and you still have food left! You have no savings left because.

You’d live in a place where no two people had the same name. You’d only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck. Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you’d be assaulted by slimy little.

You escort people out of line for having 11 items in the “10 items or less” lane. You walk into a store at 10 minutes to close not knowing what you want and don’t decide for another 30 minutes. You yell out what a GREAT TIPPER you are. You return the coffee because it’s.

Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.” “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never.

He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head. You notice him shoving the last of.

…there’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found? …you buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer? …there’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15.

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know. Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb..